my mind is cluttered and chest caving in...
filled with what could have been? what should have been? what if this...? what if that?
should I be like drake and say, "no new friends?" pshhhhhhhhh no way. or
should I see it like rocko and realize that "I don't even know it?" pahhahaha maybe.
where does my motivation come from?
where does my ambition flow from?
why do I exude the confidence of a lion?
am I cocky? or am I confident?
am I aggressive? or am I proactive? its a thought I've had to ask myself after hearing a hater or two.
why am I so hungry to succeed?
hell...what is success?
is it money? is it cars? is it clothes? is it women? or is it simply the things that money can't buy?
the priceless love and joy that a man gains from providing for his family; the experience of sharing your heart fully with another human being or the humbling experience of providing for someone who could never return the favor?
should I have a job that supplies pure joy? or should my place of work be merely a means to make money? if it doesn't or if it isn't, am I to leave?
what if i'm pretty good at what I do...do I continue to do it? what if i'm the best that ever lived yet it supplies me with little to no joy, do I consider to suffer inside? as the handshakes, the aspirations and pats on the back continue to tug at my mental state...what am I to do? who am I to be? why not them instead of me?
why have I had to work so damn hard for everything I have in this life? how long am I to remain patient? perhaps i'll have a golden spoon in the next life? lol If there is a next.
why was I a fat kid growing up? why'd the other kids pick on me?
why did I aspire to do something nearly impossible and stick it out?
why'd I ask to play a sport that could potentially end my life early one day?
why couldn't I be a writer or a painter? play tennis or golf? or be an architect or scientist? oh... because I suck at both. lol
even with that being said, why did ms. brown chastise us as kids for asking what she thought were dumb math questions? why'd I have such a horrible time with fractions? (hence the mass communications degree)
why'd I have to move overseas and leave all my friends every 3 years?
why don't I know where i'm from? GA? FL? Germany? TX? LA?
why can't I settle and set some roots... or a foundation?
maybe i'm not meant to. maybe i'm here where i'm supposed to be. truth is...only god knows...not me. I understand that if its his will, then its a place that i'd ought to be. I understand that I've given my life to him and allowed him to use me. its no joke, its no secret. he's been ultimately so so so good to me.
why all of these things... because it was meant to be.
think about it...that last issue you had, it came to pass.
think about it...those finals you stressed over...you made it.
that presentation you almost died over...you lived.
that roommate you thought you'd kill, they moved on.
or the time you needed a job, you landed one.
or the time you were homeless, some one took you in.
or the time you said you never get time to yourself... you've found a way to read this. lol
everything that you've worried about has found its way in and out of your life. live in the moment. live for tomorrow and simply cherish the past. learn from your mistakes. learn what makes your heart break. keep those close to you closer and keep those far away in your sights.
people are always talking, so never let a hater bring you down. from what I understand...if no ones talking about you...then maybe you're doing something wrong. lol
keep pushing. keep dreaming. keep fighting. let your passions drive you're mind to the wildest of ideas. let your heart enjoy the wildest of a journey. give to someone who can never repay you.
everyone in this world longs to be loved. everyone loves to experience joy, laughter and happiness. indulge today. brighten someone else's day. be a random act of kindness to someone who'd least expect it. it'll change the world one kind gesture at a time.
the last question I have for you today is... what have you done for someone else? if nothing...what are you waiting for?
Get' R Donnnnnnnnnnne!
my <3's Questions?????????????????????????
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